Dear soulmates, dear folks, dear strangers, dear all,
We’ve already made social media obnoxious, and if we look at it all from a bird’s eye view, it’s become bland, it’s become flat, it’s become strange, weird, odd, bizzare. And, I know that many people talk, talk, talk, talk that „I know it’s bad for my brain” or „it’s devastating for my psyche as well as it’s like poison for my development (or, better, for my personal growth or even better, for becoming a better person)”, and „it’s destructive for my well-being” and so on, and so for. Let’s try to answer some questions, it can be something like lightning, which momentarily lights up the space between two dark eternities.
What am I doing too much?
I worry too much about things over which I have no influence, e.g. fading reflectiveness, secondary illiteracy, progressive stupefaction/idiocracy, mass mutilation of peoples’ intelect and capacity to think, think without judging, without rushing, without believing only one side of the conflict, even if it hurts so deeply (for many people, the value of a man is how much he can earn, not what he can do, f_u_*_k these people). I’ll remember to remember to forget you forgot me. When I look at the Polish reality, I don’t feel like participating in it and, probably, I won’t… because I don’t have to. There’s an empty space inside my heart, where the weeds take root. Nothing keeps me here and I’m fluent in two languages, communicative in four.
What am I not doing enough?
I don’t sing enough (although lately I’ve been going to karaoke very often and I’ve left my comfort zone – I sang songs from my beloved band – Kasabian, as well as Billie Eilish, Radiohead, Joy Division). I don’t care enough about my lovely friends (I’ll change this, I swear). I don’t stigmatize people I consider despicable enough. I forgive too often – some people should not be forgiven, I should exposed their: chauvinism, homophobia, racism, intellectual laziness, hypocrisy, ignorance etc. (it should be long list, but… but… see point number 1 and later take a look in the mirror – do you see the self you once thought you would be? If so, you’re lucky, I’m not so lucky, not enough and, maybe, not yet, and I straighten some big pins that lie between the glasses of absinthe, and on these pins I’ll hang pictures of the universe and void).
What should I not be doing at all and why am I doing it?
I shouldn’t worry about things over which I have no control. After all, I can ignore it completely, I can disappear, change my name, do important things (eg fight for animal rights). I don’t have to worry about these people who are destroying the world. Why do I care about things I don’t really care about? Because at the base of the so-called Western culture, which for several years I have been calling: capitalist, neoliberal, deluded and, year by year, more and more moronic, lies are the basis of this culture. And, by the way, how does it feel 2 live your life where nothing is real? I’m being a dark seer, I’m a melancholic and I see all these absurdities, and I’m pretty sure that there is no escape from real absurdities – and, of cuourse, that’s what my mistresses and masters said and wrote. For example: Barbara Skarga, Jean-Paul Sartre, Stefania Zahorska, Arthur Koestler, Hannah Arendt, Ludwig Wittgenstein, Virginia Woolf, Jean Baudrillard, Simone de Beauvoir).
If you know me, but you really do, then… You should know that my credo is:
All what we have is what we’ve done to what we had.
What should I write right now? Why would I rather be a poet than let myself be dragged into a conformist race, into fawning in front of a smartphone mirror? Well, the higher the mountain the higher I climb. Why would I rather pet a cat than talk to Catholics about their filthy and vile religion? And finally, why do you talk so much about „diversity & inclusion” and then discriminate against significant minorities? The conviction, affirmed by capitalism (and people who have become machines for multiplying capital), that practice should always be paramount; both to theory and to its objects of interest. Everything from thinking to making love must justify its existence before some grim tribunal of utility. It’s not the end of the world but you can see it from here.
Cheers & take care,
K.